Title: The House-Sitter
Author: Diana
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Once upon a time there was a little girl named D. who had a crush on a little boy named Bloom and since these two would never live happily ever after, the little girl could do nothing more than daydream about the little boy and write pervy little fics about him so none of this is true. the end
Feedback: Sure.

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Setting........
Orlando returns Kate's phone call in reference to a vague recorded message she left him.

"Yeah, Kate? What's this about me having to go to Australia to take care of things? What things? Is this about that bloody house you had no business buying?", Orlando demanded to know, although he had almost been afraid to ask.

Kate knew that asking Orlando for a favor, especially after their break up wasn't going to be easy. Motioning to the waiter for another bottled water from where she sat at the outdoor cafe, she held her cell phone in place using her shoulder while digging frantically through her enormous bag for another cigarette.

"Damn it Orlando, are you going to start giving me shit about that again? I already told you I was going to sell it and pay you back!!!", she hissed after lighting up and taking a long drag, but remembering she needed to get on his good side, Kate quickly changed her tone of voice.
Not that it helped much.

"Listen, I didn't mean to lash out at you, okay? I'm truly sorry.", she replied sweetly even though she'd been rolling her eyes at the time. "I know now that buying that house was a bad idea and...."

"It's one of the worst ideas you've ever had Kate!", he cut in, "I said I liked Australia but I never said I was going to pack up my shit and move out there! I'm not ready to settle down yet and you knew that but you had people thinking that we were anyway! I'm surprised you didn't blab to every gossip columnist out there that we were choosing baby names!"

When he didn't get a response Orlando panicked thinking that maybe she had done the unthinkable deed.

"Please tell me you didn't!", he shouted.

"Well of course not, I'm not stupid! I mean, yeah I had a few names in mind but I never told anybody!"

"Okay I'm officially freaked out now so this conversation is over!", Orlando stressed.

"WAIT! Don't hang up! I have to tell you something important!" Kate pleaded, sighing with relief when he agreed to listen for one more minute. Taking a deep breath Kate rushed to tell Orlando exactly why he had to be the one to go to Australia and not her.

".....I'll be tied up for ten months at least so you're going to have to deal with selling the house if you want your money back anytime soon. I just can't afford to pass up this lead role and we start shooting in Cleveland tomorrow at....."

"Whoa, did you just say......Cleveland?", Orlando asked before he burst out laughing knowing she had to be pissed about the location.

"Yeah, so what's so fucking funny? You think that a movie will only be successful if it's filmed in-in-in...New Zealand! Or-or-or....the Cayman islands! A lot of great movies have come out of Cleveland!", she huffed.

"Not that I have anything against Cleveland but name one.", Orlando challenged her snidely.

"Um....well......mine! You'll see!", she stated although she didn't sound convincing.

"Yeah Kate, whatever. Just give me the address and I'll see about catching a flight out today although we'll have to meet before that so you can give me the keys.", he pointed out regrettably.

"That won't be necessary, the house sitter will let you in then just get rid of her."

"You mean fire her, no way! I'm not doing your dirty work! So the second I hang up you call um........"

"Tracey.", Kate muttered.

"Well call Tracey to tell her I'm on my way and why. I'm sure she'll get the hint you won't be needing her services anymore!"

"Fine! I'll call and tell her.", Kate replied but without any intention of following his instructions because she knew he'd have no choice other than to deal with the house sitter once he got there whether he liked it or not.