The Truth About Elf Ears

8 October 1999

Chapter 2

                About three hours later the flood of people finally stopped and all the people in the department collapsed on their chairs.  Slowly they all pulled themselves up and went outside with their carry cases to join the other makeup people who had been covering touchups outside to help as they were called.  Tess waited with Carrie and was pulled in a few times to work on different fix ups and discussed alternatives as the different cast member were filmed and photographed. 

                When she heard her name called out just after coming back from lunch she picked up her case and went over to where she was needed to see Orlando sitting a chair next to Elijah Wood and Sean Astin.  As he turned around his eyes locked directly into hers as he smiled brightly at her.  Tess discussed the changes with the film crew that they were looking at making to his makeup before she turned to him.

                “Don’t worry, I swear it won’t hurt a bit,” she said quietly as she set about making the changes.

                “I’m sure you’ll be gentle,” he replied jokingly.

                “Only sometimes, sweetie” she teased back before mentally pulling herself up short.  She could not believe that she said that to him.  She quickly looked at him and could see he was a little surprised but not freaked out as he grinned back at her.  She turned as she busied herself in her makeup case on the next chair giving herself time to compose her thoughts before she turned back to finish the changes.  After they were approved he stood up to prepare to take up his position again in front of the cameras for further tests as Tess picked up her work sheets to make notes of the changes.

                “Tess, this is Sean, you already met Lij, Sean this is Tess from makeup.” Orlando made introductions as they all said hello to each other before he was called away.

                Tess stayed and talked to the two boys before she is called away again to work on further changes in the different races.  The day continued with bursts and lulls as they all tried to finish perfecting the look of Middle Earth until just after four in the afternoon they were told that they were finished for the day and the crew would be given their work assignments the day after tomorrow including a list of who was to start on Monday and where.

                “Also when everyone has put their things away and changed we are having some drinks in catering to kick off this little production,” called out one of the production heads loudly.

                Tess walked into the catering area with Carrie and grabbed herself a beer from one of the ice filled bins and as she looked around the room at the large number of people who were filing in from the different departments.  Everyone mingled around chatting and getting to know each other as the drinks flowed.  Speeches were made from the department heads as well as Peter Jackson who thanked everyone for their effort and their continuing hard work over the next fifteen or so months.

                After he had finished and everyone went back to party mode Tess continued to relax with her friends as they moved around the room.  They finally sat down at a table as they watched the room and Carrie surveyed the area for prospective men and started to give scores, much to the amusement of Tess and Beth.  Tess was startled when she felt someone sit down next to her and she quickly turned around to see a vaguely familiar face smiling back at her.  Suddenly it registered who it was sitting next to her and she showed her surprise.

                “My God, Orlando, is that really you?” she asked, as she looked at sweet-faced man with brown eyes the colour of mahogany and a totally unexpected short dark brown Mohawk.

                “Hi, Tess, yeah this is me, without the elf help,” he answers shyly with nothing to hide behind anymore.

                “I personally didn’t picture you with a Mohawk.”

                “Oh, that, no, I don’t normally have one.   I had to shave the front sides off for the wig so I thought I would make it look like it belonged.”  He answered as he ran his fingers over his head grinning at her.

                “It’s cute.” Tess tells him which caused him to blush as he looked down at the ground, suddenly feeling a little shy.  She noticed that he had changed into a pair of loose fitting jeans and a yellow T-shirt covered by a lightweight black jacket.  

He turned around quickly to Carrie and Beth to say hello so they would not think he was rude as Tess looked over at her friends who were sitting opposite her and Orlando and noticed that they were trying hard not to break into giggles over his turning up at the table to talk with Tess.  Tess kicked Carrie under the table as she turns back to him to try and talk calmly so she did not have to look at the mad women in front of her.

Suddenly from the other side she hears a loud noise as someone jumped up on the table and she quickly turned to look up to see Elijah walking over the table to attack Orlando who has broken out into fits of laughter as he is pushed off the bench and onto the ground with Elijah standing over him swearing madly at him.

“You put fucking hair gel in my shoes, you bastard,” Elijah snarled at him.

“Well with those bloody big hairy feet of yours I thought it might help. Besides, it made your shoes certainly smell better.” Orlando is still on the ground as he is being fake kicked by Elijah.  Orlando grabs his shoeless foot and twisted it around until Elijah lost his balance and crashed onto the ground next to him.  Orlando jumped up next to Tess and out of Elijah’s way so he could get away quickly if need be.

“I’ll get you back for that, you little British fuck,” Elijah threatened him still on the ground before he started to get up.

“Mate, there is nothing little about any of my fucks,” Orlando taunted back before he remembered that there are ladies sitting right next to him.  “Sorry, ladies.”

“Don’t worry about us, darling,” Carrie answered, “I’m sure we’ve all heard just about everything before.  Although with those sort of bragging comments someone might want a test run.” Carrie looked directly at Tess as she says this and watched as both Orlando and Tess go three shades brighter.

“I’ve actually heard of some women falling asleep during it, if truth be told,” Elijah uttered as he quickly jumped around to the other side of the table behind Beth and Carrie.  “Hello, nice to see you again, you wouldn’t let him hit me would you?”

Elijah is using every ounce of his boyhood charm to gain protection from Orlando who is still standing on the other side of the table trying to decide his next move.  He looked down at Tess who was in fits of laughter along with just about everyone else watching these two nuts muck up. 

“I have to go and sort this little shit out.  I’ll talk to you later, I hope.”

“Sure, but don’t bruise the hobbit’s face otherwise Carrie might have to bruise you.” Tess warned him.

“I may be small but I can pack one hell of wallop is you mess up my canvas,” Carrie tries to give him a serious and mean look which only causes everyone to laugh more.

“I promise you all the injuries will be easily hidden,” Orlando swore with his hand on his heart.  All of a sudden he jumped up onto the bench seat and across the table as Elijah squealed like a girl and took off at a sprint.  The girls continue to watch as they see Orlando catch up and crash tackle him to the ground.

“I swear that boy has absolutely no ass,” Carrie said after they turned back to their drinks “Oh, I found something out too, he is actually older than he looks.”

“What are you talking about?” Tess was not sure what she was on about.

“Your little elf, Orlando, he’s nearly 23.   Well, he will be in January.”

“How the hell did you find out that?” Beth asked as she turned to look at Carrie. 

“I have my sources.” Carrie looked and felt extremely smug about her little piece of information.  “So he’s not illegal, Tess, he just looks it.”

“I’m still 2 years older than him. And he’s not my elf. Besides, he would probably prefer a nice little bit of 19 year old ass.” Tess was not going to let them push her into a relationship that would probably not work and end her work in New Zealand.

“Maybe he’s looking for more than ass.  Maybe he wants a brain as well.  ” Carrie challenged Tess’ argument.  “Also I might add, it’s more like 15 months than two years.”

“Look, he’s cute, in fact very cute, but I’m not looking for romance at the moment.  I just want to concentrate on getting settled and working.  If either it happens later on, with anyone, then I’ll be more than happy.” Tess declared ardently as she stands up.  “Now I’m off for another beer, anyone else want one?”

“Yes, thank you,” Carrie replied apologetically.  “I’m sorry darling, I don’t mean to badger you, but you’re just too beautiful to be alone.  You look like you could do with some lovin’, and if it happens to be from a pretty young thing like that, all the better.  I think I just want you to be happy.”

“But that’s just it Carrie, I am happy.  Right now, with who I am and what I’m doing with my life, I am very happy.  I don’t need to be two people to be happy.  I appreciate what you’re trying to do but just give me time to find my feet here.”

“Ok, Tessy, I’m sorry.” Carrie told her as she hopped up and leaned over the table to give her a hug.

“I’m just going to get those beers, won’t be long.” Tess slid out from the bench to go over to the ice bins.

Everyone started to disband after a few hours as nobody had eaten since lunch and went in search of food. Carrie and Tess joined up with others from makeup, wigs and prosthetics to grab a bite to eat before heading back to their places to work on their run sheets so they were prepared for the first day.  They did not realise then but this was to become an epic, life changing shoot, both professionally and personally for many involved and not just Tess and Orlando.

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